Alice-in-Wonderland Syndrome

Today, I am going to write about Alice-in-Wonderland Syndrome which is a genuine condition that I read about on Wikipedia.

Alice-in-Wonderland syndrome refers to a rare kind of migraine aura in which people experience themselves as very large or as very small and perceptions of time, space, sound, and color become distorted and untrustworthy.  It can happen several hours or even days before any headache pain occurs and could make the uninformed feel as if they had gone stark raving mad in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner.  A sufferer might  feel as though the people next to them were speaking in tongues and hear their own speech  being broadcast through a faulty sound system at maximum volume. 

A sufferer of Alice-in-Wonderland syndrome might feel as though the table where they sat had begun to stretch into infinite space and that all of the dinner guests were moving far, far, away.  The wooly hair on Leo the poodle who was angling for a handout might reassure them for a moment, but even he would soon seem transparent and unreal.  They might really really want to lie down.

A brisk walk in the unnaturally warm Thanksgiving air would provide some respite, allowing the sufferer to peer into the enormous windows of this particular neighborhood,  windows that stretch so far into the heavens that no drapery could ever suffice.  The warm  light would pour out into the street inviting glimpses of sleek furniture and tasteful art.  The children would run howling  down the empty streets, beneath a waning moon concealed in black clouds, only to jump from behind bushes and cars screeching.  And the sufferer would humor them by being genuinely scared to death.  Meanwhile some unidentified strollers with their own Leo the poodle would join the outing and it would be awhile before the sufferer realized they were strangers.

Inside, the temperature of the house would be equal to that of Mars, if the temperature of Mars is equal to two times the amount of heat an Alice-in-Wonderland sufferer can bear, and the dessert offerings would radiate a hostility not usually attributed to pie.  The sufferer might really want plum pudding but would ask for pumpkin pie to satisfy some longing for normalcy and in the end would regret it because even pumpkin pie can not stop the nightmare that is Alice in Wonderland syndrome.

Charades would be out of the question.

Later, in the car, the migraine would start its familiar heartbeat throb and the panic would subside and the sufferer would feel some mixture of relief and regret and longing for sleep.